How do I stop feeling sorry for myself?
Everybody feels sorry for themselves sometimes. It’s normal to go there now and again. Problems arise though (as they do with all negative emotions) when you get stuck and those internal voices keep playing over and over like a broken record. Then it is time to stop, tell yourself, “This isn’t working for me!” and make a change.
The best advice I ever got from a mentor of mine about self pity was this: “It’s O.K. to feel sorry for yourself. Everybody does. If you are going to have a pity party, though, for God’s sake, put a time limit on it!”
That was one of the best pieces of advice I ever got. Of course, it makes sense. Fighting emotions…feeling guilty…telling yourself to snap out of it…none of that works. Besides, problems only emerge when you end up stewing in your own juices. So, if you are feeling sorry for yourself, let yourself cry, kick, scream, mope, stay in your sweats, hide out at home, refuse to answer the phone, watch Netflix, eat chocolate, etc., whatever is your comfort! However, once you have indulged for a period of time, promise yourself that by such and such a time, you are going to stop the drama, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get moving… whether that’s going out for a walk, meeting a friend, cleaning out that closet or getting to the gym.
It never works to try to ignore or push away negative emotions. You can do them up big. Just put a time limit on them!
Blog Archives
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- How to Hack the Worrier?
- Self-Care Revisited
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- Self-acceptance or self-tolerance, which one?
- What role will clinical psychologists play at the Canada Games?
- Drawbacks of not facing reality?
- Do we create our own reality?
- What is the art of giving?
- Why Gratitude?
- Are you in a codependent relationship?
- What is bipolar disorder?
- Affairs: To tell or not to tell?
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- Do you care too much what people think?
- Does illness have to lead to isolation?
- How do you you know when you are ready to go off anti-depressant medication?
- Are you the child of a narcissistic parent?
- Part III: Letting go of blame: lightening your suitcase.
- Part II: Taking responsibility in relationships: unpacking your suitcase.
- Part I: Boundaries in relationships: is that your suitcase?
- Mindfulness: What is it and why do it?
- Are you living with false hope?
- How to say hello/goodbye to your therapist?
- What is CBT?
- How to heal from betrayal?
- What does a panic attack feel like?
- When can persistence be negative?
- What is depression in normal language?
- How can I stop being so judgmental?
- Do you believe in a just world?
- How do I know whether I am helping or enabling?
- Are you a parental child?
- Have you become a human doing?
- What is willful blindness?
- How do I explain to family and friends why I am seeing a psychologist?
- I come from a pretty messed up background. Shouldn’t my parents take some of the blame?
- Why is acceptance so important?
- How do I stop feeling sorry for myself?
- What to expect from an initial interview?
- If I take anti-depressant medication, am I a failure, weak or crazy?
- If I go to a therapist, will they make me take pills?
- What is my job as a client?
- What is the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist?
- How do I find the right therapist?
- Can people really change?
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